We Can Burn Brighter Than The Sun

I keep waiting for the day I feel like a grown up, it feels like. I'm 32, and I keep thinking that at some point, I will wake up and actually feel adult. So far, that hasn't happened. Sure, I make sure the bills are paid, I go to work, all of that, but I also have a lunch bag that can double as a cat puppet, my room is full of plushies of various kinds, and juiceboxes and Goldfish crackers are my go-to comfort foods.

So...what makes you a grownup? Do you have to be grownup all the time? Can we learn anything from the not-grownups in our lives?

I've been working through some of the Junior Youth Empowerment Program books with a friend. They're aimed at people much younger than me, intended to help teach various moral and spiritual values and a general idea of empowerment. They avoid being overtly religious, because that's not really the point - it's not a conversion tool. They're inspired by various Baha'i concepts, but that's really as far as it goes. And yes, they're not *technically* aimed at older youth or adults, but that hasn't stopped me from getting a LOT out of them.

Right now, we're going through one called "Thinking About Numbers". As the title states...it's about math. Like counting and arithmetic math. Math is...not my strong suit, so it's been fun because it has honestly been changing how I, well, think about numbers. We're not very far in, but I can't wait to see what sorts of things I get out of it. But it's not just about the math concepts - all of those concepts are good, and do need to be taught, but the book also frames them in their wider context. It's not just "learn about math because...you have to because school says so", it's "learn these things and how to think about numbers and math concepts as part of also learning how to grow and be a part of your local reality, your community, your world". 

I never liked math in school because after a bit, you stop learning why it's useful, and how it can help you, and it's just "learn these complicated things because someone else decided that this is summarily important for everyone even though you're likely going to forget them and never use them." (I'm looking at you, quadratic equation.) But this...this is different. It reminds me about how so much of my faith is centered around looking at the world and it's problems, refusing to accept that things are just how they are, and working to change it where we can. 

Some of the books (like the first one we looked at, called Breezes of Confirmation), focus more directly on moral/spiritual matters - and I think that's also important too. All of the books are so focused on giving young people agency and learning about self-direction and letting them be an active participant not just in the books and what they're learning from them, but also in their local communities.

I really like this chance to look at these books, because, well, they weren't a part of my youth. I like seeing what sort of things we're trying to help children and teens learn to be fully able to take an active role in their world, and they're also good for me - I am learning so much, just because I am taking time to think about these concepts. I imagine anyone who works through them with junior youth also leans a lot, because you'd see these things through their eyes.

So maybe it's okay I'm not a grownup all the time, and that I still haven't figured out what that looks like. Maybe it means knowing I don't have all the answers, and that I won't, and that it's okay. Maybe it means not dismissing things just because they're aimed at kids, and remembering that learning never really stops.