It's December 21st. Solstice for some, Yule for others, frantic shopping day for some people. Some of us are getting ready for Christmas stuff in various guises, other people are getting ready for Hanukkah...this time of year has a lot of celebrating in it.
As a Baha'i, I actually don't have any holidays of my own this time of year. I celebrate Christmas with my family and friends, but the next "big thing" for me and other Bahai's isn't until Ayyam-i-Ha in February. The next actual Holy Day is Naw Ruz, which is all the way away in March. I love so many Christmas traditions, though. People make extra efforts to see each other, we all have foods that we only seem to get to around this time of year, I get to spoil people I like (although I am still more prone to "hey I thought of you so here's a cool thing I found" style gifting, more than anything)...it's good stuff.
But right now, I find myself reflecting less on Christmas itself, and more on what sort of things it has in it. What do traditions look like? What things do I like about it? What could I do without? What makes it special?
You see, this is the first year I've been a Baha'i. So a lot of this year has been me learning a lot about what general stuff happens in a Baha'i life - what do holy days look like? Some are somber and reflective, some are full of joy and delight. What does Nineteen Day Feast look like? What does devotional life in my community look like?
I've learned a LOT. I've learned my community is amazing and caring and full of life and joy. I've made friends that I feel like I've known my whole life, and I've learned how to find my feet and my space and my path of service. But a lot of it has been me learning what things are, and now that I know what Ridvan is and what Naw Ruz is and what the fast looks like...now I get to figure out what sort of traditions I might like to build for myself around them.
Maybe I want to borrow some stuff I already know. Ayyam-i-Ha is about generosity and charity, so I can borrow some of Christmas's traditions there. I can find ways to share of my time and energy and love. Ridvan is about delight and change and renewal - I can borrow a lot of Christmas's childlike joy for that. Plus, gatherings usually mean food, so I can pull out my mom's shortbread recipe, and make speculaas cookies, and all the other things I love to make for holidays.
And maybe I'll figure out new things I like. Friends have told me about origami birds and toy camels and trees and dinners they hold and songs they sing and I don't know if I want to do any of that, but I know some of it sounds pretty fun. I'm going to get to make whole new traditions - some will draw on my past, some will be from my present, and some might be completely brand new things. Like the Twin Holy Birthdays are always going to mean cake and bright happy things, because to me, that's what birthdays need.
The fun part is? There's not really rules about any of this. In fact, we're told often to avoid strict rituals and tradtions (beyond things like the obligatory prayers, and so on). We're told that this is supposed to be for the whole world, and we value unity in diversity so much, that we don't want to tell people how they're supposed to do this stuff. Find ways to celebrate that suit you, your community, your family, all of that. If it doesn't feel good or right or proper, it's okay to let it go. And I like that. I like that I'm going to find paths through these things that fit me and the people around me and the people I care about. It's going to be a series of adventures, and they might not always be the same. It's gonna be a good ride, I think.
Saturday, December 21, 2019
Thursday, December 12, 2019
May An Elephant Caress You With His Toes
It's that time of year where everyone starts wanting you to think about the year that's almost over. What did you do? What did you miss? What was good? What was bad? What books did you read, what music did you listen to, how did your life change over the past 525600 minutes, 365 days, all of these moments, how did they shape you? And it's almost the end of 2019, so people are getting extra fluttery over things because "its the end of a decade", so you get all those questions, but ever the louder.
None of us are the same person we were a decade ago. None of us are the same person we were a year ago. Heck, I'm not even sure that the Ash-that-was-yesterday is the same Ash-that-is-today (I certainly sneezed a lot less yesterday. Thanks, ever-evolving cold-thing). Change happens, slowly but surely. We're not the same as we were, but we're us, still. The core things that make us...us are still there. Even if everything feels impossible different.
I was making my bed this weekend, and I noticed my blankets. It's winter, so I have quite a few on my bed right now (and since my husband knows me well enough to not share with me because he's gonna end up cold and blanket-less because I burrito into all the blankets, there's even more on the bed). In a way, the blankets on the bed tie me to who I am, in the core of myself.
On my side of the bed, the bottom layer is a quilt my Nana gave me that I've had for...many years. I can't remember how long I've had it, but it's been in my life long enough that at some point, someone (my sister, I think?) put a new backing on it (which happens to be one of my old bedsheets). It reminds me of her so often when I snuggle into bed. My Nana gives excellent hugs, and she is always quick to tell a joke or say something that makes you smile. I can feel that, under her blanket.
The second layer is a quilt my sister made - when she got married, all her attendants (is that the right word? Her bridemaids and stuff) got a quilt she made out of old clothes and other things of hers. I can tell you about almost all the fabrics on it - so many memories of ridiculous adventures we had. My sister is very much my partner in absolute joy and silliness, and her quilt holds all of that.
The top layer right now on my side is a GIANT thick fuzzy blanket with a moon and star theme. My parents gave it to me when I was in my teens, I think. Maybe younger. It comes out only in the winter, when I am super cold. It's like all their love is so strong that it fills the blanket and keeps me so warm, that I can't use it most of the time.
When it's too hot for that blanket, I often have this amazing purple and yellow sunflower quilt that my mother in law made for my husband and I when we got married a couple years ago. It's made of so many pieces, and I know it took her a really long time to make. I think about how much love and dedication she put into it, and how much love she sends to us from far away. (She's still living in the US, and we're in Canada.)
My blankets help ground me in a whole lot of love. Whoever I was, whoever I am going to be, whoever I am - I am loved. I have all of this love stored in all of these blankets (and those are just the ones that are on my bed, there are more in my closet that are full of love and stories too). I am a daughter and wife and granddaughter and friend and sister and a whole lot of other things that aren't going to disappear any time soon. I am very lucky to have a family that surrounds me with love and warmth, even if they're not right here to give me a hug. My blankets are proof of that.
Family is important - one of the things the Baha'i Faith talks a lot about is the idea that we can't have world unity if we don't have family unity. I like how making my bed is a very physical reminder of the unity my family has created, and how blessed I am to have it.
On my side of the bed, the bottom layer is a quilt my Nana gave me that I've had for...many years. I can't remember how long I've had it, but it's been in my life long enough that at some point, someone (my sister, I think?) put a new backing on it (which happens to be one of my old bedsheets). It reminds me of her so often when I snuggle into bed. My Nana gives excellent hugs, and she is always quick to tell a joke or say something that makes you smile. I can feel that, under her blanket.
The second layer is a quilt my sister made - when she got married, all her attendants (is that the right word? Her bridemaids and stuff) got a quilt she made out of old clothes and other things of hers. I can tell you about almost all the fabrics on it - so many memories of ridiculous adventures we had. My sister is very much my partner in absolute joy and silliness, and her quilt holds all of that.
The top layer right now on my side is a GIANT thick fuzzy blanket with a moon and star theme. My parents gave it to me when I was in my teens, I think. Maybe younger. It comes out only in the winter, when I am super cold. It's like all their love is so strong that it fills the blanket and keeps me so warm, that I can't use it most of the time.
When it's too hot for that blanket, I often have this amazing purple and yellow sunflower quilt that my mother in law made for my husband and I when we got married a couple years ago. It's made of so many pieces, and I know it took her a really long time to make. I think about how much love and dedication she put into it, and how much love she sends to us from far away. (She's still living in the US, and we're in Canada.)
My blankets help ground me in a whole lot of love. Whoever I was, whoever I am going to be, whoever I am - I am loved. I have all of this love stored in all of these blankets (and those are just the ones that are on my bed, there are more in my closet that are full of love and stories too). I am a daughter and wife and granddaughter and friend and sister and a whole lot of other things that aren't going to disappear any time soon. I am very lucky to have a family that surrounds me with love and warmth, even if they're not right here to give me a hug. My blankets are proof of that.
Family is important - one of the things the Baha'i Faith talks a lot about is the idea that we can't have world unity if we don't have family unity. I like how making my bed is a very physical reminder of the unity my family has created, and how blessed I am to have it.
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