Underneath They Still Are Only Trees

It's December 21st. Solstice for some, Yule for others, frantic shopping day for some people. Some of us are getting ready for Christmas stuff in various guises, other people are getting ready for Hanukkah...this time of year has a lot of celebrating in it.

As a Baha'i, I actually don't have any holidays of my own this time of year. I celebrate Christmas with my family and friends, but the next "big thing" for me and other Bahai's isn't until Ayyam-i-Ha in February. The next actual Holy Day is Naw Ruz, which is all the way away in March. I love so many Christmas traditions, though. People make extra efforts to see each other, we all have foods that we only seem to get to around this time of year, I get to spoil people I like (although I am still more prone to "hey I thought of you so here's a cool thing I found" style gifting, more than anything)...it's good stuff.

But right now, I find myself reflecting less on Christmas itself, and more on what sort of things it has in it. What do traditions look like? What things do I like about it? What could I do without? What makes it special?

You see, this is the first year I've been a Baha'i. So a lot of this year has been me learning a lot about what general stuff happens in a Baha'i life - what do holy days look like? Some are somber and reflective, some are full of joy and delight. What does Nineteen Day Feast look like? What does devotional life in my community look like?

I've learned a LOT. I've learned my community is amazing and caring and full of life and joy. I've made friends that I feel like I've known my whole life, and I've learned how to find my feet and my space and my path of service. But a lot of it has been me learning what things are, and now that I know what Ridvan is and what Naw Ruz is and what the fast looks like...now I get to figure out what sort of traditions I might like to build for myself around them.

Maybe I want to borrow some stuff I already know. Ayyam-i-Ha is about generosity and charity, so I can borrow some of Christmas's traditions there. I can find ways to share of my time and energy and love. Ridvan is about delight and change and renewal - I can borrow a lot of Christmas's childlike joy for that. Plus, gatherings usually mean food, so I can pull out my mom's shortbread recipe, and make speculaas cookies, and all the other things I love to make for holidays.

And maybe I'll figure out new things I like. Friends have told me about origami birds and toy camels and trees and dinners they hold and songs they sing and I don't know if I want to do any of that, but I know some of it sounds pretty fun. I'm going to get to make whole new traditions - some will draw on my past, some will be from my present, and some might be completely brand new things. Like the Twin Holy Birthdays are always going to mean cake and bright happy things, because to me, that's what birthdays need.

The fun part is? There's not really rules about any of this. In fact, we're told often to avoid strict rituals and tradtions (beyond things like the obligatory prayers, and so on). We're told that this is supposed to be for the whole world, and we value unity in diversity so much, that we don't want to tell people how they're supposed to do this stuff. Find ways to celebrate that suit you, your community, your family, all of that. If it doesn't feel good or right or proper, it's okay to let it go. And I like that. I like that I'm going to find paths through these things that fit me and the people around me and the people I care about. It's going to be a series of adventures, and they might not always be the same. It's gonna be a good ride, I think.

Threw Our Roses in the Snow

It's...suddenly very winter. This week went from "oh hey I can still get away with running shoes and my middle weight coat" to "BOOTS HATS MITTS BIG COAT ALL OF IT ALL THE LAYERS". Complete with large piles of snow everywhere.

It's cold, it's dark, it's not my favourite time of year. Coming home from work in the dark is hard, and I miss green and growing things. Sparkly snow is nice, but then I think about the sidewalks not being safe, and I lose my happy.

So, I am trying to focus on the things that...aren't dark cold misery slush gross. Like how people are getting excited about the holidays (whatever wintery ones you celebrate). This is my first holiday season since I declared, and it's something I've been thinking about a lot lately. How do I integrate my new Baha'i self, with all the holiday stuff around me?

I mean...mostly, it's not gonna change. I'm still excitedly finding Christmas gifts for my loved ones (I bought the BEST book for my nephew, and I can't wait to read it with him), planning events with my family and friends so we can see each other and eat delicious things (that reminds me, I should find my speculaas recipe...) and enjoy each other's company. I might not "do Christmas" in the same way my Christian family or friends do, as in it's not a Baha'i holy day or anything, but I still love the happy spirit of it, and the chances to remind people I like that oh hey, yes, it's dark, its cold, there's snow everywhere, but we can find the joy amidst all of that.

So, I'm starting my list of card-sending, like I try to do when I can afford it. They might be Christmas cards for my Christmas-celebrating friends, or just "hi I like you, good job surviving the snow so far" cards for my non-Christmas friends, or whatever it is my loved ones find important about this time of year. Because yes, it's prompted by this outpouring of love and connection that this time of year seems to bring up in people, but mostly, it's a good excuse to go "HEY YOU, YES YOU...I like you, thanks for making it through another year with me."

And then today I realized...it's actually MORE FUN being a Baha'i this year! Because once Christmas is done and all the ornaments are packed up and the tree is gone and we've welcomed a new year....WE GET TO DO IT AGAIN. Kinda. Not quite the same, but still.

You see, the Baha'i calendar is...not the same as the "normal" calendar.  Our calendar starts on Naw-Ruz which set on the vernal equinox (so March 21 ish). We have 19 months of 19 days, and there's always a few days that don't fit into that. Some people call them just the Intercalary Days, which okay yep, true, but they're also a festival! It's called Ayyam-i-Ha, and it's basically about socializing with people, being hospitable to people, sharing with the poor and needy, and just...getting your celebration and joy on before the month of fasting (which is the last month of the Baha'i year).

This year, Ayyam-i-Ha is from February 26-29. So right in that bit of winter where you're pretty convinced that Spring might just not make it here this year! I realized that there's nothing stopping me from also sending people cards for Ayyam-i-Ha, so this year, I'm gonna try. I figure most people I know will appreciate the bit of non-bills related mail, and it's a bit more unexpected joy, which the world is in much need of. I'm kinda excited for this - I like the idea that before I get into the fast, where I'm all comtemplative and recharging my spiritual batteries...I get to recharge my friendship and community batteries too.

I am probably going to try to make my own cards, because that sounds like fun (and I am pretty sure the dollar store won't have any Ayyam-i-Ha cards), so that will be a fun chance to be creative too.

I'm slowly figuring out how to integrate my Baha'i bits with the rest of my bits, and it's a fun adventure. Although I promise, I won't send lots of glitter on the cards. :)